What to do?

The last time I wrote a post here I was starting to interview baby sitters (or nanny, whatever you want to call it) to watch my kids while I worked. I’ve always had a problem hiring strangers for the job and come to think of it … nearly a decade into this motherhood thing, I never have done it.

The closest I’ve come is taking my kids to a high-priced, private child care center when I worked a traditional full-time job. Before we moved, my son went to an in-home child care and I loved the arrangement too. So it’s not like I’m resistant to having people watch my children, even strangers!

I think the issue is having someone I don’t know well in my home when I’m not there and worse, driving my kids around in her private car (sure…I can tell her not to do it, but I’ve talked to enough moms to know that when you’re gone sitters don’t always do what you ask).

So for the last two weeks I’ve fretted over a decision to try a sitter I found on SitterCity. I’ve interacted with her via email, telephone and in person several times and she seems nice. The kids liked her. She’s a nursing student, has been an au pair for families before and is eager to do a great job. Everything says she’d be a great fit, but…

I just can’t bring myself to give her the work.

So today as I look at a workweek of looming deadlines and bored kids home for summer break, I’m stuck – do I suck it up, hire this gal and try to get over my discomfort in it all OR struggle to do my work in the crevices of the day/night? I think I’ll sleep better with the latter choice, but I wonder if I’m missing out on the joy of receiving help when I need it.

Oh, this nagging mother’s intuition! It’s never steered me wrong, so I’m not even sure why I’m in a quandary over it.